I kept thinking about that line all evening. It's from Nim's Island, when Nim tells Alex Rover, the writer, that "I can't be the hero of my own story."
I know how she feels.
It's so easy to make the character of the story you write be extra-super heroic, because you, from your creator throne, KNOW that everything is going to turn out well. You know your hero/heroine is going to go through this rough time, and that he (or she) is going to have to be incredibly courageous and sacrificial, but you know that the happy ending is coming. They may not know, but you know.
You can have your character face certain death, because you know it's actually NOT certain death, but a really cool fight scene. You can have your character suffer misunderstanding and a broken heart because you know the resolution is just beyond the next chapter. You can have your heroine muddle through, day after day, lonely, sad, trying to be content in her niche in life, because you know that her hero is coming soon. You just have to turn the page, and the happy ending is there.
In this story of mine, my own, non-fiction, real-life story, I DON'T know the ending. I don't know if the happy ending that I want is coming. All I know is, right now, I can't be the hero of my own story. I need a hero.
Now that I've had my pity party, I wanted to share that today is St. Lucy's feast day. Her name means "light". According to the Julian calendar, the winter solstice fell on December 13th. Under the Gregorian calendar, the solstice now falls on December 21st. However, her name is still associated with the winter solstice, when the days grow brighter and longer after it.
She is the patron saint of those that suffer from eye diseases, or eye issues.